We’ve all heard the term. I myself heard it on the radio. Although it was two days ago, I’m still hearing about it. Why?? My opinion of the “holiday” is that it was hyped up to create a marketing blitz for merchandisers as a remedy for the proverbial Christmas hangover. Yes, I know there is a Saint in there somewhere along with a history but that has been long forgotten amid all the exploitation. In seeing all the commercials, talk shows, tweets, posts and everything leading up to this event as well as all the gushing during and after I wound up actually feeling a little sorry for men. There, I said it.
When it comes to things like this a lot of men (I didn’t say all) are forced into romanticism. This is one of the first reasons I’m not a fan of this media overkill event. What is romantic about being obligated to be romantic?? If you’re going to be romantic, you’ll do it whenever you darn well get the urge or not at all. But this is the day that men are expected to turn into Don Juan and sweep you off your feet. Women all over the country woke up Tuesday morning feeling expectant. Tell the truth. You EXPECTED to get a “surprise” that day. Yes, I’m a woman too but I’ve been over Valentines Day a very long time. I do remember how it was eons ago however.
For some guys this is easy. Shell out a few hundred bucks for the roses, the candy, teddy bear or sad eyed stuffed dog followed up with dinner. You wake up the next day satisfied that you pulled it off while reaching for your wallet which is now considerably lighter. Not a lot of creativity there, but easy enough and it gets the job done. I’ll bet you didn’t know that you could get through this heartless day with equal or better results while spending little to no money. Before I continue understand that I’m not speaking for all women. If you have a blood sucking, money grudging, center of attention kind of gal on your hands, you had better stick with plan A above times ten. Lavishing the Vampiress with expensive tokens, special deliveries and five star restaurants is your only option. If you’re that guy and she’s your girl you can stop reading right now. Nothing that follows will help you in any fashion.
Okay, so we’ve all seen Pretty Woman. We’ve all thought how nice it would be to be treated like a queen, prance along Rodeo Drive buying anything our little hearts desired, being whisked away on an airplane and out of the country for dinner and having our knight in shining armour deliver us from the societal dregs in that trusty white steed of a limo. Or how about having him march into that grubby factory where we’re slaving away at an oily dirty machine and having him literally whisk our sweaty smelly behinds into his arms and carry us out of our misery while the rest of the jealous women applaud? Damn. Richard Gere makes it really tough on a guy. So you may have seen a few of us whimper or shed a tear during An Officer and a Gentleman or Pretty Woman, it’s not what you think. We’re just pissed that Debra Winger and Julia Roberts got to have all that fun. How many women have I heard say “Now why couldn’t that be me?” even though we knew in reality that never happened to a single living woman on earth and I don’t know too many who were willing to go work in a dingy factory to try to make it happen. I’m not even going there on the whole Pretty Woman thing. Plenty of women sell themselves for baubles, they just aren’t honest about it.
The point is, that real women (Vampiress and Gold Digger aside) can easily buy into a little romanticism and it doesn’t have to cost you a lot of money. Sometimes, no money at all. Women want to be recognized, they want attention and most of all they want to know that you’re thinking about them when you’re not around them. They want to believe that you truly understand and know them. If you listen and watch them, you should know what they truly like. Some women’s favorite flower is indeed a red rose and that’s fine. For others of us, it’s over the top cliché. For instance, my favorite flower is a weed. Really. It grows wild along the ditchbank behind my house and sometimes creeps into my back yard. It fascinates me because it only blooms at night. When it blooms, each blossom is a huge billowy white wonder and when the weed grows really large there may be a mass of a dozen or more of them. I have no idea what the true name of it is but I call it a Night Flower. If you’ve known me for any length of time you will at some point have heard me describe it or perhaps show you a picture. If you’ve been paying attention at all and you want to get me a flower you would know how impressed I was to realize that you had not only listened but filed it away for just this moment.
Hand writing a letter is something else that I find impressive. I’m not talking about typed and emailed. I’m talking about that archaic form of communication, that lost art of putting pen in hand and words to paper. It shows that you invested your time and made it very personal. You don’t have to be a poet or award-winning author. It doesn’t have to be pages long. It need only be personal, authentic and heartfelt. You can choose a card that you like, but do us a favor and write something in it besides your name. Okay so you let Hallmark do the talking, we can deal with that and appreciate that you even walked in the store but at least write something in it.
Humor is not a bad way to go either. A lot of guys miss that.Kudos to my daughters boyfriend. Okay so he sent the obligatory red roses but he made up for it with the box of cupcakes. Why? For starters he lives in California and she in North Carolina at the moment. When he was here with her there was a sort of inside joke about a local cupcake bakery. I don’t know all the details but here’s the clincher. He remembered that silly little thing and went out of his way to contact the florist and have her pick up the cupcakes from that specific little local bakery. Brilliant! She broke into a big smile when she saw the flowers but an absolute belly laugh when she saw the box of cupcakes. Her eyes even teared up a little. It was endearing. He made it personal and made her feel that he cherished even the small, funny little moments of time that he had spent with her.
If for some reason, you decide on jewelry. Here is the number one thing you MUST do: pay attention to her. For instance I wear white gold or sterling silver. I rarely wear gold. In fact I know someone who is allergic to gold. Talk about sending the wrong message! Giving someone gold who doesn’t like it or God forbid is allergic is the absolute worse thing you can do. You’d be better off to walk up and say “I have no idea who you are.” Although I like a lot of gemstones and have very few, you should have heard me say by now that I would love to have a black diamond and that I adore emeralds! Of course we’ll appreciate whatever you have gone out of your way to bring us, but nothing is more wonderful than to know that someone has paid attention enough and truly wanted..to know me.
A lot of you guys think wowing a woman is complex. It is actually very easy. You just need to pay attention. If your woman is a workaholic and/or mother. Take care of the kids get them to sleep, send her off to a bubble bath with a glass of champagne while you cook dinner for just the two of you. For most of us, it can be just that simple. I’ll even tell you a secret. I spent Tuesday night at the ER. Yep, my boyfriend was feeling terribly ill so that was necessary. Now I would find it hilarious if next year on Valentines he picked me up, picnic basket in hand and drove me over to the waiting room at Cape Fear Memorial. Damn, I’m a special chick.
Finally, if you REALLY want her to know how you feel, then do one or more of these things or any personal thing throughout the year. NOT just Valentine’s or her birthday or Christmas. Just pick a random day, weekend, week…whatever…and make it yours and hers. And to any ladies out there who might have read this: whether you agree or disagree with anything I’ve said, know this: you should not only expect to receive but to give as well. Maybe he’d be floored by tickets to the big game or whatever it is that trips his trigger. Just be real, people. It’s that simple.
Now maybe I can get over this hangover and move on. There’s plenty of other things to bitch about far more worthy.
Weezerkat's Blog 